‘Pursuing racing full-time didn’t make me a better athlete’ — Maude Farrell on why going all-in on sport didn’t bring the success she expected

We’ve all probably dreamt about it: waking up after a restful night’s sleep, with no alarms blaring and no work emails waiting to be answered. A day free to ride in the daylight, hit the gym during its quiet hours, and focus solely on our physical goals—undisturbed by Slack messages, deadlines and the constant pressures of work. For those of us squeezing in an hour on the trainer in the basement before or after work, the life of a full-time professional athlete feels like a distant dream – one that comes with a promise that we'd finally unlock our full potential because we’d have the time.

For years, Maude Farrell juggled a demanding career in tech with high-level racing – both as an off-road bike racer and an ultrarunner. She managed it well, too, competing in the Life Time Grand Prix for two years, netting a top-10 result at Unbound Gravel and landing on the podium at events like the Vermont Overland and Crusher in the Tushar. Then, in early 2024, she unexpectedly lost her job. What seemed like a setback quickly became a rare opportunity. Rather than jumping into a new role, she decided to focus on her athletic pursuits full-time.

But the experience didn’t go as imagined: the absence of a job didn’t result in improved athletic performance.

The Dream vs. The Reality

“I had been curious what it would feel like to only be an athlete but I was not brave enough to quit my job and leave my corporate career behind to pursue athletics,” Farrell tells Cycling Weekly. “Being laid off, it was a choice that was made for me.”

Farrell knew she was in a place in her life where she could sustain this dream for one year, so she decided to give it a go.

“I was really excited,” she recalls. “In my head, the story was going to be like ‘Maude unleashes this amazing success story’.”’

The reality?

“The hard truth was that, actually, I did just about as good as I did when I also had a full-time job.”

The realisation hit hard. Farrell had built a narrative in her mind that a singular focus would lead to significant growth and results. She kicked off the season in March with a big win at the Mid South Double—a 50K trail running race followed by a highly competitive 100-mile gravel bike race the next day. But as the season continued, the results did not come.

“That was really difficult to go through. Finally, this moment is here. It's in my hands. I don't have this other distraction, I don't have this other energy sink. I can put it all into this one place. And it didn't manifest,” Farrell says.

“I spent a lot of the year feeling frustrated that the story I had written of what would be on the other side wasn't coming true. And I think that we get caught up in these fantasies and this idea of what could be. I think what I learned about myself is that [being a full-time athlete] maybe isn't my recipe for success. I don't know that putting my entire focus on a single thing empowers me to succeed.”

A Multi-Sport Athlete With a Multi-Faceted Mind

Farrell, now 33, grew up running in high school and competed in Division III cross-country in college before injuries led her to cycling. Even then, she struggled with the pressure of performance, recalling moments of complete “performance paralysis” during tests in high school and college. That same competitive strain followed her into bike racing.

“When I am in an environment that isn't entirely and solely about the outcome, I do perform better,” she says. “ When racing this past year, I wasn't doing any better because I put so much expectation on my journey. One could argue losing your job and becoming a pro athlete is like the ultimate freedom but it didn’t feel like freedom.”

Far from feeling liberated, Farrell found herself spiralling.

“Was it great to be able to wake up and go ride in the middle of the day and not worry about whether I was on Slack or not? Yeah, of course! But it also felt like I was unmoored. I had the freedom but I think I need guardrails,” she says.

“I walked away so grateful I had that chance, but also realised that it doesn't work for me...and it clearly doesn't work for my bank account.”

Farrell says that a full season of racing—factoring in entry fees, travel, lodging, and associated costs—sets her back up to $18,000 per year. Even with the backing of sponsors like Rapha and Allied Cycle Works, she barely breaks even. Thus, a job is necessary, but even if she suddenly had a million dollars in the bank, Farrell admits she probably wouldn’t opt for the full-time athlete life again.

“I think I am not the champion person who can laser into this one thing and just pursue that. I have to have a breadth of things,” she says.

Now, as she heads into a new season of racing, Farrell is fully embracing her multifaceted life, juggling more than ever—a new job, newly married life, new sponsors, and an ambitious race calendar, including her biggest running challenge yet: the 100-mile Leadville Challenge. Surprisingly, she’s finding that having more on her plate actually brings her stability, stating:

“I do think that work makes me a better athlete. It kind of gives me an anchor, but then vice versa, riding gives me an anchor for work. I don't think it's about me balancing things. I think that together, they create a balance for me, you know?”

What Defines Success?

Farrell is the first to admit that her multi-sport, multi-faceted juggling act might be keeping her from winning more races.

“Literally every night as I fall asleep, I think, ‘Well, this is why I don’t win things,’” she admits with a laugh.

“I don't know which one comes first: talking myself out of being a winner and, therefore, justify spreading myself thin across all these sports. Or if spreading myself thin across all these sports is why I'm not the most winningest person. I don't know, but I'm okay.”

To Farrell, being a professional athlete isn’t just about results. It’s about pushing her own limits, learning more about herself, and finding joy in the process.

“ I really do get a sense of purpose and satisfaction from the pursuit of my own self-discovery—of coming to an understanding of what I can do, that I am capable of a certain feat. That's a really, really satisfying thing,” she says.

“Every sports psych will tell you: The less you chase the results, the more the results come. When you focus on pursuing something inside of yourself, an effort, a feeling–it's crazy that it does unlock an outcome.”

So come autumn, Farrell will not be measuring her success in podium finishes. For her, success will mean staying injury-free, completing her longest running race yet, and, above all, finishing the season excited for the next one.

By stepping away from the traditional “pro athlete” script, Farrell is carving her own path—one that embraces the balance of career, sport, friends, and family. Her rewards may not come in the form of many medals, but rather in joy, challenge, self-discovery, and, hopefully, longevity.