Cycling with my 10-year-old daughter fills me with guilt and makes us both a target for abuse - this isn't how it should be

“I’m scared,” my daughter called out as we waited to turn. I could barely hear her above the noise of engines accelerating past, pinning us to the center white line and squeezing through what felt like non-existent gaps on either side.

‘Why aren’t they letting us cross? Can’t they see she’s a child? I seethed internally while maintaining a composed exterior as I calmly guided my daughter on how to be assertive in her road positioning and when to confidently cross over.

I could feel the aggressive engine revving behind us and was dazzled by the lights of oncoming vehicles. Waiting to turn right in the middle of the road is one of the most vulnerable positions for a cyclist and this time, I wasn’t alone; I had my ten-year-old daughter with me.

I felt a rage that only a parent knows when they feel their child is in danger, but I also felt guilty for putting her in this situation. I suddenly felt so irresponsible. Yet that made me even angrier. We were in this predicament because we had already been guilted off having her ride on the pavement.

I’ve always ridden with my daughter since she was old enough to scoot along on a balance bike. Over the last year, her passion for riding bikes has grown, and she has too. Now standing at 5ft 2”/ 157cm, the start of 2025 has seen her migrate to ‘big wheels.’ In the world of bikes, she’s now a size XS adult.

While riding on the pavement has technically always been illegal in the UK, unless marked as a shared space, children under the age of 10 are below the age of criminal responsibility. Therefore, they cannot be prosecuted for a criminal offence.

Up until now, the general public has always tolerated her presence on the pavement. We keep these to limited sections and she rides slowly; we’re incredibly courteous and have added a polite-sounding bike bell. However, it seems that the public will only tolerate a wheel of a certain size on the pavement.

I acknowledge that individuals navigating the daily city gauntlet of food delivery e-bikes rightly advocate for stricter cycling regulations. Meanwhile, out in the shires, cycling with a minor leads us to routinely deciding whom to aggravate more: pedestrians or drivers.

Both choices feel like a loss for us and often add a layer of anxiety to every ride, despite my efforts to select routes that are mainly on bridleways and quiet lanes.

We’re easy targets for populist politics, online forums, and the car-centric, poor-taste ‘jokes’ about hitting cyclists. But so far, I’ve been able to shield my daughter from these mostly virtual assaults.

Unfortunately, the realities of entering double digits come with the potential for an altercation with the law and a side serving of abuse from strangers from car windows or in passing on the pavement.

But not even a teenager, a 10-year-old’s prefrontal cortex part of the brain, the bit that is responsible for the executive functioning roles of predicting outcomes and anticipating events, impulse control, focusing attention, and planning (all the elements that help make sound safety judgments) is still very much in development.

There’s a reason why the UK's Bikeability Level 3 training, which aims to equip you with the skills needed to stay safe in more challenging urban situations, isn’t offered until riders are at least 11 years old.

So here we are. Stuck between a rock and a hard place, and I know we’re not alone.

In Greater Manchester, where we ride, a survey recorded that 47% of the Greater Manchester population would cycle more if the conditions were better; this includes feeling safer on the road, and more cycle routes.

A report by the London Cycling Campaign found that nine out of ten women said they had experienced verbal abuse and aggression while cycling in London. For 63% it was at least once a month.

It’s a shocking demonstration that more needs to be done to keep cyclists safe, especially the next generation.

Should I really need to decide between breaking the law, and alarming altercations with the less sympathetic public, or put my child’s life in the hands of others behind the wheel of a vehicle?

Explaining to my 10-year-old what the profanity yelled at us from either car or pavement meant just for riding bikes wasn’t something I had expected to be doing while she was so young.

Unfortunately, once you start to resemble an adult on a bike, your chance of having them hurled at you from either side dramatically increases. Perhaps preparation for dealing with hostile altercations should be added to the Level 2 Bikeability training in preparation? Or, perhaps other road users need to exercise a little more tolerance - you decide.